Life's a maze, Love's a riddle

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11:28 AM | Monday, April 13, 2009

whats the point?

urgh! whats the point? whats the fucking point?

when your told to do something u dont like? whats the point?

when your force to do something that doesnt come from ur heart sincerely? whats the point?

when your only doing it for the sake of doing it? whats the point?

when your not ready for it and you do it anyways and you'll bring shame to it? whats the point?

when you do it just because others told you its good but you yourself dont agree? whats the point?

when your just doing it blindly and you dont feel anything or whatsoever while doing it? whats the point?

its your life, you know u have to face the consequences and you know that that one day will come to you and you'll do it but this time, u do it with ur heart and sincerely do it. isnt that better?

i fucking hate doing things under pressure. who doesnt right? its my life.

but what the? people think its a small matter? well to me its not. yeah. i choose this decision because i know if i were to do it out of force, i know for sure things would go out of hand. argh fucking please la dont put me under pressure! dont ask me when also! i do not know?!!!! but i know that one day my heart would be open to it and yeahs i will make the decision to wear it. but for now please. im not ready. yes u can say that i have frens who already wears it, but thats them?? im not them. they came from madrasah school. so yeah they are trained from young and used to all these. and yes they wear it out of their own willingness. but i here, come from a very different backgrnd from them, and that time havent come to me. i noe its a sin. but what? its better if i dont wear it now than me making a nuisence out of it and spoil the name of my religion by my actions. its no point of me wearing it if i dont sincerely want it! it would be better if the time come and i do it sincerely with my heart! urgh! why cant they understand? i noe its sinful. i noe i have to face the consequences. i noe all that. but whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????????

why not go force those drinkers to stop drinking?
why not go force those smokers to stop smoking?
why not go force those drug addicts to stop taking drugs?
useless right????????! why thats the fucking same reason to force me to doing something i am not ready to do. please just let me realise it myself and let me wear it out of my own willingness.

urgh im not being rebelious or what. im just fighting for whats right for myself because i noe myself better than they do. so wtf laaa! if u ppl have any disagreements to what i just say i suggest u shud keep ur mouth shut and not tok to me bcoz im seriously tired and hate to be told on what to do for my life! fucker. argh.!